Are we crazy....it's really any ones guess, but we got a 2 month old puppy from the Humane Society here in SA, And doing the math, his and Riley's birthdays are pretty close!
Poor Miles was the only dog we had left. We got him as a puppy and he had never been the only dog around, so needless to say he has been lonely! Following us around the house and looking sad and pathetic! Poor guy.
After some discussion Jeff, Riley and I all went to Humane Society....
[ Quick Side Note : I had mentioned to Jeff about taking Riley to have his picture taken with Santa this year. He nixed the idea because "Santa will be just crawling with germs", or something to that effect. I quietly agreed and went on with my day. A week later when the discussion of going to the Humane Society came up, I said we both had to be there to pick out the dog but wondered what we would do with Riley. Jeff was so stoked about the puppy/dog idea he had no qualms what-so-ever with bringing Riley to the animal shelter. A little while later I mentioned the discrepency, and asked if maybe a few years down the line we wouldn't have regrets about not taking Riley to get his pic taken with Santa his first Christmas....he agreed. So tomorrow we go see Santa!]
as soon as we walked into the puppy room there was a cage with 2 brown lab-mix puppies is the first cage we saw. I immediately fell in love, but quickly walked around to the rest of the cages to make sure I saw everyone before making a final decision. And of course these were the cutest ones. There was a boy and girl, and for some reason I told Jeff we should take the boy. He hadn't been neutered yet, so they told us we couldn't pick him up until the following Friday.
This afternoon I stopped by to See him again and ask if there was any way we could bring him home sooner....and low-and-behold he was cleared to be taken him right then. I had an errand to run, but once that was done I immediately went back to pick him up. Didn't have a cage, paperwork or anything.
Good little Coltrane sat in my lap the entire way home (in 5 o'clock traffic none the less).
Of course once we got him home and the reality of a puppy and a 7 week old kicked in...especially when I started wondering what I was going to do when Jeff had to go back to work in a couple of days! Then when Riley started to get fussy and we put Coltrane in his kennel and he started howling loudly I began to freak out! Jeff immediately sent me to the corner store to buy myself some wine....which I obligingly did.
I came home to an empty house with everyone (except Kitty - who had mysteriously disappeared) in the backyard. Apparently Coltrane was howling because he had to go to the bathroom...which he did in the kennel. Jeff noticed when it began to stick and he saw some brown substance on the gate.
By the way - please realize that for now, when I say "kennel", it's actually our cat carrier.
The rest of the night was spent getting Riley for bed, making and eating dinner, and mostly playing with Coltrane in the backyard to wear the poor guy out (which actually worked).
Of course at one point when we brought him inside after playing outside for quite a while, he promptly peed on the bedroom carpet.....why do I see an endless road of cleaning up a lot of pee and poop (human and dog) in my future....
Once we took care of that situation, we slowly coaxed him back into the kennel (he was obviously tired from a big day since he had started to fall asleep on my lap outside).
By 9:00 the house was dark and I was the only one still awake!
Stay tuned for more crazy Lunsford household antics....
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Good-Bye Mary Jane
In an earlier post I mentioned how we lost our oldest dog Sam. A couple of weeks after we brought Riley home we also lost the next oldest dog, Mary Jane. She had been sick for a few months and loosing weight. She would be fine and then would obviously feel bad, this happened off and on for several months.
Finally one day we came home and went to let the dogs inside, she did not immeduately come, which was a sign she was not feeling well again. I went to check on her and she was laying on the dog bed on the patio. One pupil was larger than the other, she had peed on herself and thrown up as well. It was a sad and scarey sight.
Jeff took her to the vet and they decided it was best to let her go. Jeff said this time he wasn't crying or didn't feel as bad, though he did not go into the room with her as he did with Same. (Mary Jane was more my favorite than his). All was well until the vet tech came back to tell him it was done. With Sam they made a mold of a paw print and sent it to us in the mail. This time the vet tech began talking with another and mentioned she thought they might be out of clay to make the mold......and apparently that was what finally broke poor Jeff. He said he started blubbering like a baby, the other pet owners in the waiting room told them they had to go out and buy more. Jeff said he was so pathetic they probably did it right then.
We did get her paw print mold in the mail a short time later.
When I texted my mom what happened she texted back the sweetest thing and said that Mary Jane taught her to love dogs. Makes me tear uo even now thinking of that!
When we would go to the dog park Mary Jane would completely ignore the other dogs and go get as much attention from the other dog owners as she could get....she was pretty smart!
Good-bye Mary Jane, you were the sweetest, lick-iest, people lovin'-ist dog I ever met.
Finally one day we came home and went to let the dogs inside, she did not immeduately come, which was a sign she was not feeling well again. I went to check on her and she was laying on the dog bed on the patio. One pupil was larger than the other, she had peed on herself and thrown up as well. It was a sad and scarey sight.
Jeff took her to the vet and they decided it was best to let her go. Jeff said this time he wasn't crying or didn't feel as bad, though he did not go into the room with her as he did with Same. (Mary Jane was more my favorite than his). All was well until the vet tech came back to tell him it was done. With Sam they made a mold of a paw print and sent it to us in the mail. This time the vet tech began talking with another and mentioned she thought they might be out of clay to make the mold......and apparently that was what finally broke poor Jeff. He said he started blubbering like a baby, the other pet owners in the waiting room told them they had to go out and buy more. Jeff said he was so pathetic they probably did it right then.
We did get her paw print mold in the mail a short time later.
When I texted my mom what happened she texted back the sweetest thing and said that Mary Jane taught her to love dogs. Makes me tear uo even now thinking of that!
When we would go to the dog park Mary Jane would completely ignore the other dogs and go get as much attention from the other dog owners as she could get....she was pretty smart!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption
Found this and thought I'd share....
Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after
your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.
One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.
They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.
They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.
So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.
And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.
And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.
Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.
The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption
By Brenda RomanchickOnce there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after
your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.
One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.
They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.
They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.
So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.
And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.
And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.
Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Short and To the Point!
I will write more later with more details, but right now it's just he facts and lots of pictures.
Finished my challenge on Monday, October 22nd
Then the next day Riley Davis was born at 6:39pm weighing 9 lbs 5 oz and was 21.5 inches long!
Finished my challenge on Monday, October 22nd
Then the next day Riley Davis was born at 6:39pm weighing 9 lbs 5 oz and was 21.5 inches long!
Friday, October 19, 2012
7 To Go
As usual I have procrastinated....meaning there are 4 more days of my challenge and 7 more yoga classes. I am actually fine with this right now. Jeff is working all weekend, my mom is headed out of town, seems like everyone has plans this weekend....so its a good thing I have all this yoga to do to keep myself busy!
Why must I keep myself busy, you may be asking. M, our expectant mom we are matched with, who is due November 3rd, might actually be induced early on the 30th. Of course he could also decide to come at any point before then. So lots of yoga...to keep the antzies at bay!
Why must I keep myself busy, you may be asking. M, our expectant mom we are matched with, who is due November 3rd, might actually be induced early on the 30th. Of course he could also decide to come at any point before then. So lots of yoga...to keep the antzies at bay!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
The Count Downs Continue!
Only 10 more yoga classes to finish before next Monday, October 22nd!!!
I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel....
I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel....
Thursday, October 11, 2012
16 Classes To Go!
Lots of count downs are beginning to happen these days.
For my yoga challenge I have 16 classes to go....but I must confess I only have 12 days to do them in....which means in the next couple of weeks or so I'll have to do more than 1 class a day!
I am ready for this challenge to be finished!
For my yoga challenge I have 16 classes to go....but I must confess I only have 12 days to do them in....which means in the next couple of weeks or so I'll have to do more than 1 class a day!
I am ready for this challenge to be finished!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Days 29 Through 34
Most of these classes have been pretty smooth sailing. There is the occasional hiccup in class like the same teacher 2 days in a row,
(when class is ssooo structured with the same poses etc, the teacher is the only non-constant...so having the same one twice isn't something I prefer....of course there are much worse things in the world.....famine, disease....but I digress)
having demonstrations in class,
(come on already lets get going with the rest of the postures...it might sounds weird to some but I don't want to get too cooled off....and that's not a hot yoga joke ;) )
things of that nature. These sort of things bothers me in class, but not enough where I remember after the class is over.
Last night's class sticks out from the classes of late. First, I put off class until the absolute last minute. The last class of the day starts at 8:15. All evening, after I got home from work, I had an on-going mental conversation with myself about what class to go to, or even if I should take the day off. That is actually possible, but then you have to do 2 classes in one day to catch up, YUCK! It was touch and go all evening until about 7:55 when I get a text from my mom telling me she worked out earlier and felt so great!
WELL CRAP!!! I had pretty much convinced myself to NOT go to class. Then I made the mistake of texting her back telling her I needed inspiration to get myself to yoga...and of course she was happy to oblige. At this point I felt that I should go to class....getting there with about 5 minutes to spare.
I walk in the door practically stomping like a sullen child and mumble something about how its a miracle that I'm there.....like they are supposed to kiss my boots because I dained to show up to class.
One of my saving graces was when I saw Kristen was teaching the class...yeah!!
Of course at the end of class I was extremely proud of myself for getting there. But that was after having to use HERCULEAN SIZE focus and determination not to slap the lady next to me who COULD NOT stay still! It didn't matter if we were in a posture or between postures, she was twisting and turning and wiping and touching her face and stretching and swaying her hips, etc, etc. And in the grumpy mood I was in because I HAD to come to class it was SSSOOO hard to relax! I finally did and let go as much as I could. I totally understand and (most of the time) have empathy for newer people who aren't used to the heat or the structure of the class, but last night the amount of empathy I had could have fit on the head of a pin.
By the floor series I could tune her out for the most part. And as I mentioned, at the end of class I was glad I went (mainly because that meant I didn't have to do a double at a later date ;) )
(when class is ssooo structured with the same poses etc, the teacher is the only non-constant...so having the same one twice isn't something I prefer....of course there are much worse things in the world.....famine, disease....but I digress)
having demonstrations in class,
(come on already lets get going with the rest of the postures...it might sounds weird to some but I don't want to get too cooled off....and that's not a hot yoga joke ;) )
things of that nature. These sort of things bothers me in class, but not enough where I remember after the class is over.
Last night's class sticks out from the classes of late. First, I put off class until the absolute last minute. The last class of the day starts at 8:15. All evening, after I got home from work, I had an on-going mental conversation with myself about what class to go to, or even if I should take the day off. That is actually possible, but then you have to do 2 classes in one day to catch up, YUCK! It was touch and go all evening until about 7:55 when I get a text from my mom telling me she worked out earlier and felt so great!
WELL CRAP!!! I had pretty much convinced myself to NOT go to class. Then I made the mistake of texting her back telling her I needed inspiration to get myself to yoga...and of course she was happy to oblige. At this point I felt that I should go to class....getting there with about 5 minutes to spare.
I walk in the door practically stomping like a sullen child and mumble something about how its a miracle that I'm there.....like they are supposed to kiss my boots because I dained to show up to class.
One of my saving graces was when I saw Kristen was teaching the class...yeah!!
Of course at the end of class I was extremely proud of myself for getting there. But that was after having to use HERCULEAN SIZE focus and determination not to slap the lady next to me who COULD NOT stay still! It didn't matter if we were in a posture or between postures, she was twisting and turning and wiping and touching her face and stretching and swaying her hips, etc, etc. And in the grumpy mood I was in because I HAD to come to class it was SSSOOO hard to relax! I finally did and let go as much as I could. I totally understand and (most of the time) have empathy for newer people who aren't used to the heat or the structure of the class, but last night the amount of empathy I had could have fit on the head of a pin.
By the floor series I could tune her out for the most part. And as I mentioned, at the end of class I was glad I went (mainly because that meant I didn't have to do a double at a later date ;) )
Friday, September 21, 2012
Days 26, 27, and 28 - FOUR WEEKS BABY!
Finishing class last night made it an official 4 weeks of yoga everyday! AWESOME!!!
Feeling good and staying hydrated. Feeling accomplished, relatively sane, and positive about our future. Not much more we could ask for :)
Feeling good and staying hydrated. Feeling accomplished, relatively sane, and positive about our future. Not much more we could ask for :)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Part 4 - Time For Extreme Measures
After we moved to Canyon Lake I found a fertility doctor in San Antonio. I'm not sure if it was because we had 3 miscarriages (that's apparently the magic number to officially start to worry) or what, but this doctor's office seemed much more interested in doing tests to actually try and determine what was going on.
With out going in to all the dirty details, Jeff and I went through several tests to try and determine what (if any) issues we had. There were little things here and there for both Jeff and I, but the major diagnosis that came out of all that was determining that I have a unicornuate uterus. Which basically means only half of my uterus fully developed, the other half never developed & the 2 parts are separate. I have both ovaries & Fallopian tubes, but one side isn't attached to all the other important stuff. So even though I ovulate normally, only the side developed would ever have a chance of being fertilized, plus my uterus is half the size of a normal uterus.
This was all good to know. It explained the reason it took a little longer for us to get pregnant, but it didn't explain the reason for the miscarriages.
Time passed, we tried IUI once without success. I started my PhD program at Texas State, and in the late spring of 2009 we decided to try a cycle of IVF.
It took a few months of prepping, apparently you can't just decide to do IVF one day & have it done the next day. Part of my prep was removing a polip in my uterus. Finally in August we did the procedure & 2 weeks later found out that it was successful, we were pregnant for the fourth time.
Part of the IVF process includes lots of lovely hormone shots and patches and driving all the way to the doctors office at least once a week. You don't actually keep seeing the fertility doctor through your entire pregnancy. By the beginning of the second trimester they wing you off the hormones & you only go to your OBGYN.
Since we had moved back and we were mainly using the fertility doctor I hadn't found an OBGYN to take over for the fertility doctors. As we were transitioning to a new doctor and they were weening me off the hormones and I was about to start my second trimester we miscarried again.
I had actually decided to take a break from school the week before this happened. School, plus teaching, plus driving in to San Antonio was taking its toll. If I had know what would happen the following week I'm not sure what I would have done.
I began November 2009 not pregnant, I had quit school and there was no longer teaching at the University (the teaching position was only for PhD students). From this point until the end of the following May 2010 was a pretty dark time in my life.
With out going in to all the dirty details, Jeff and I went through several tests to try and determine what (if any) issues we had. There were little things here and there for both Jeff and I, but the major diagnosis that came out of all that was determining that I have a unicornuate uterus. Which basically means only half of my uterus fully developed, the other half never developed & the 2 parts are separate. I have both ovaries & Fallopian tubes, but one side isn't attached to all the other important stuff. So even though I ovulate normally, only the side developed would ever have a chance of being fertilized, plus my uterus is half the size of a normal uterus.
This was all good to know. It explained the reason it took a little longer for us to get pregnant, but it didn't explain the reason for the miscarriages.
Time passed, we tried IUI once without success. I started my PhD program at Texas State, and in the late spring of 2009 we decided to try a cycle of IVF.
It took a few months of prepping, apparently you can't just decide to do IVF one day & have it done the next day. Part of my prep was removing a polip in my uterus. Finally in August we did the procedure & 2 weeks later found out that it was successful, we were pregnant for the fourth time.
Part of the IVF process includes lots of lovely hormone shots and patches and driving all the way to the doctors office at least once a week. You don't actually keep seeing the fertility doctor through your entire pregnancy. By the beginning of the second trimester they wing you off the hormones & you only go to your OBGYN.
Since we had moved back and we were mainly using the fertility doctor I hadn't found an OBGYN to take over for the fertility doctors. As we were transitioning to a new doctor and they were weening me off the hormones and I was about to start my second trimester we miscarried again.
I had actually decided to take a break from school the week before this happened. School, plus teaching, plus driving in to San Antonio was taking its toll. If I had know what would happen the following week I'm not sure what I would have done.
I began November 2009 not pregnant, I had quit school and there was no longer teaching at the University (the teaching position was only for PhD students). From this point until the end of the following May 2010 was a pretty dark time in my life.
Days 19 Through 25
Been a blogger slacker, but not a yoga slacker!
Class on 9-11 dedicated to remembering that tragic day through class on my bday on the 15th and beyond.
Class on 9-11 dedicated to remembering that tragic day through class on my bday on the 15th and beyond.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Part 3 - The Alternative Route
Time went on again, and again we waited and waited. Of course we distracted ourselves with other things, but (at least for me) it was always in the back on my mind....will this EVER happen for us.
At some point during the Spring of 2007 I injured my back and found a chiropractor that would hopefully help. Not only was he a chiropractor but also did some alternative health practicing. During the initial visits I filled out paperwork about all aspects of my health, which of course included my fertility issues. He had me take a test that would measure different hormone levels, but did this using saliva instead of blood. There were reasons behind this, but for the life of me I can't remember what they were.
The test came back and showed some imbalances, and so he gave me supplements to help bring these back into balance. Some of these supplements were bio identical hormones. I can't remember exactly how long I was taking these, but in May 2007 we found out we were pregnant again.
Jeff and I had planned a vacation with my mom, her husband Les and some friends of theirs to the Cayman Islands. This was right after there was a change in passport policy that lead to a back log for issuing new passports. We had applied for them back in April, but had yet to receive them. The week leading up to us leaving was when we found out we were pregnant. So as we waited and made calls and worried about our passport situation, I went to lots of doctor and ultrasound appointments. The day before we were to leave, after yet another ultrasound, and still no passports and no way to change our already purchased plane fare, we miscarried again. We never made it to the Cayman Islands (but of course our passports showed up a few days later), though we did end up going to Port Aransas on the Texas coast just because we both needed a little break and some time to unwind. Thinking back, that was one of the most depressing vacations ever.
That summer I made the decision to go back to school full time to work on my PhD in Math Education. The program was in San Marcos at Texas State. I had been going back and forth for years debating about whether to do this or not, and I finally decided to take the plunge. Jeff was VERY understanding! We sold the house in the Woodlands and moved to Canyon Lake in August of 2007. But I didn't actually start the PhD program for another year, in the Fall of 2008.
At some point during the Spring of 2007 I injured my back and found a chiropractor that would hopefully help. Not only was he a chiropractor but also did some alternative health practicing. During the initial visits I filled out paperwork about all aspects of my health, which of course included my fertility issues. He had me take a test that would measure different hormone levels, but did this using saliva instead of blood. There were reasons behind this, but for the life of me I can't remember what they were.
The test came back and showed some imbalances, and so he gave me supplements to help bring these back into balance. Some of these supplements were bio identical hormones. I can't remember exactly how long I was taking these, but in May 2007 we found out we were pregnant again.
Jeff and I had planned a vacation with my mom, her husband Les and some friends of theirs to the Cayman Islands. This was right after there was a change in passport policy that lead to a back log for issuing new passports. We had applied for them back in April, but had yet to receive them. The week leading up to us leaving was when we found out we were pregnant. So as we waited and made calls and worried about our passport situation, I went to lots of doctor and ultrasound appointments. The day before we were to leave, after yet another ultrasound, and still no passports and no way to change our already purchased plane fare, we miscarried again. We never made it to the Cayman Islands (but of course our passports showed up a few days later), though we did end up going to Port Aransas on the Texas coast just because we both needed a little break and some time to unwind. Thinking back, that was one of the most depressing vacations ever.
That summer I made the decision to go back to school full time to work on my PhD in Math Education. The program was in San Marcos at Texas State. I had been going back and forth for years debating about whether to do this or not, and I finally decided to take the plunge. Jeff was VERY understanding! We sold the house in the Woodlands and moved to Canyon Lake in August of 2007. But I didn't actually start the PhD program for another year, in the Fall of 2008.
Day 18 - Buuurrrrrrrr
The weather in SA is achangin', Fall (or at least San Antonio's version of it) seems to be here...at least for now. The lows have been in the balmy 60's, while the highs have been in the cooler lower 90's. Whenever the weather changes the hot room does also, and sometimes it takes a bit to adjust.
With all that being said, it was a little chilly in the room during class last night....meaning my guess it was in the 90's.
With all that being said, it was a little chilly in the room during class last night....meaning my guess it was in the 90's.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Days 15, 16 & 17 - Time Marches On
Done, done and done!
While in class I always have ideas about what to blog about, but by the time I get ready to write....its all gone....
I know I have clever things to discuss, but for the life of me the only thing I can remember is the spot under my chin that's peeling from the spine strengthening poses. These are postures done laying on the stomach with your chin out, and your neck is supposed to be flat on the floor...mine is not...hence the tender spot on my chin.
While in class I always have ideas about what to blog about, but by the time I get ready to write....its all gone....
I know I have clever things to discuss, but for the life of me the only thing I can remember is the spot under my chin that's peeling from the spine strengthening poses. These are postures done laying on the stomach with your chin out, and your neck is supposed to be flat on the floor...mine is not...hence the tender spot on my chin.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Our Story - Continued
I keep changing my mind about writing such a intimate and sensitive topic on an Internet site that anyone with a computer can access. On one hand, I'm a pretty private person and don't really like people knowing my business. Mainly because I REALLY hate it when people feel sorry for me and I see pity in their eyes. On the other hand, I think it will be cathartic for me to write about all this stuff, it will remind me of what I've been through and how I got to where I am today. Plus, who knows, it might help someone going through a similar situation, to help them feel not quit so alone.
So here we go....
We moved to the Woodlands in August of 2005, who really knows why. My sneaking suspicion is to distract ourselves from what was going on by trying something new. But maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Life went on, I continued working for the same company from home. We continued to keep trying, and again we waited. The following summer (I think, some of the dates at this point are a little foggy) I decided it was time to see a fertility doctor. I learned a big lesson from seeing this doctor, which was - go with your instincts. If you are not comfortable with him/her from the beginning how in the world are you going to be able to ask questions and get the things done you want done if you don't feel like you can talk with them.
As with most fertility doctors, the first visit is a consultation. Jeff and I both went and sat in his office to discuss the reason we decided to seek help. Now what I am about to say might be taken the wrong way. I love my husband with my entire heart, soul and being, but we are very different people. I'm an introvert, he's an extrovert. When we are in situations in which I am not comfortable, he senses this and wants to make we feel better. This usually means he talks more. And this is what happened during this consultation. It was him and the doctor talking, this I did not like. But whose fault was that? Mine just as much as theirs since I didn't step in and open my word hole. The one comment that should have set off alarms for me was when Jeff was explaining how I really didn't want to take hormones, to which he responded "Oh, she'll change her mind about that" (insert wink, wink, nudge, nudge...as if I wasn't even in the f@*#ing room...but I digress). There was also no discussion of a possibility of there being something wrong with Jeff, not that I wanted that. But at this point we had no idea what was wrong, so it could have been him just as much as me....but that wasn't mentioned.
I'm fairly sure my reason for seeing this doctor was not made clear to him, and honestly I'm not really sure I knew myself what I wanted. Hind site is 20/20 right, and now I can look back and see I just wanted a reason why it was taking so long. And I got the impression that the doctor just wanted to give me drugs to try and solve the problem, not look into the reason behind the problem.
He had mentioned a test called hysterosalpingogram, you can click the name for the wiki link if you want to know the gory details. I had to call the doctors office on several occasions to finally get them to set this test up for me. It was not performed in the doctors office, but in a hospital (I think radiology lab). Jeff went with me, but in the end we were told he could not come in to the room where the test was being done. And I'm going to bet the radiologist regretted that decision.
I'm laying there feeling very exposed, when the radiologist made some comment like "so you only have one fallopian tube correct?". This totally took me by surprise and I immediately started crying. At the time I felt very silly, but again looking back I can see it was a normal response to the situation. I had a follow up appointment with the doctor several days later. And as he walked into the room looking at my chart he said "so I see everything was normal." WTF?!?!? I said, no they mentioned something about me only having I fallopian tube, at which point he took a closer look at my chart and said something like, ah yes I see that. That was the last time I went to that doctor.
The following month we found out we were pregnant again. Apparently that happens often after that test is performed because it sort of "cleans everything out". Again we were excited and even more scared.
And again we miscarried at about 7 weeks.
So here we go....
We moved to the Woodlands in August of 2005, who really knows why. My sneaking suspicion is to distract ourselves from what was going on by trying something new. But maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Life went on, I continued working for the same company from home. We continued to keep trying, and again we waited. The following summer (I think, some of the dates at this point are a little foggy) I decided it was time to see a fertility doctor. I learned a big lesson from seeing this doctor, which was - go with your instincts. If you are not comfortable with him/her from the beginning how in the world are you going to be able to ask questions and get the things done you want done if you don't feel like you can talk with them.
As with most fertility doctors, the first visit is a consultation. Jeff and I both went and sat in his office to discuss the reason we decided to seek help. Now what I am about to say might be taken the wrong way. I love my husband with my entire heart, soul and being, but we are very different people. I'm an introvert, he's an extrovert. When we are in situations in which I am not comfortable, he senses this and wants to make we feel better. This usually means he talks more. And this is what happened during this consultation. It was him and the doctor talking, this I did not like. But whose fault was that? Mine just as much as theirs since I didn't step in and open my word hole. The one comment that should have set off alarms for me was when Jeff was explaining how I really didn't want to take hormones, to which he responded "Oh, she'll change her mind about that" (insert wink, wink, nudge, nudge...as if I wasn't even in the f@*#ing room...but I digress). There was also no discussion of a possibility of there being something wrong with Jeff, not that I wanted that. But at this point we had no idea what was wrong, so it could have been him just as much as me....but that wasn't mentioned.
I'm fairly sure my reason for seeing this doctor was not made clear to him, and honestly I'm not really sure I knew myself what I wanted. Hind site is 20/20 right, and now I can look back and see I just wanted a reason why it was taking so long. And I got the impression that the doctor just wanted to give me drugs to try and solve the problem, not look into the reason behind the problem.
He had mentioned a test called hysterosalpingogram, you can click the name for the wiki link if you want to know the gory details. I had to call the doctors office on several occasions to finally get them to set this test up for me. It was not performed in the doctors office, but in a hospital (I think radiology lab). Jeff went with me, but in the end we were told he could not come in to the room where the test was being done. And I'm going to bet the radiologist regretted that decision.
I'm laying there feeling very exposed, when the radiologist made some comment like "so you only have one fallopian tube correct?". This totally took me by surprise and I immediately started crying. At the time I felt very silly, but again looking back I can see it was a normal response to the situation. I had a follow up appointment with the doctor several days later. And as he walked into the room looking at my chart he said "so I see everything was normal." WTF?!?!? I said, no they mentioned something about me only having I fallopian tube, at which point he took a closer look at my chart and said something like, ah yes I see that. That was the last time I went to that doctor.
The following month we found out we were pregnant again. Apparently that happens often after that test is performed because it sort of "cleans everything out". Again we were excited and even more scared.
And again we miscarried at about 7 weeks.
Days 13 & 14
Time just keeps marching on. Every class I am feeling stronger and more focused. I can't believe its already been 2 weeks!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Our Story - Part One
I'm not sure if this is going to be a good idea or not, but I've decided to share the story of the journey Jeff and I have taken to get us to this point on the road to expanding our family by one. I hate to say, starting a family, because I feel like Jeff and I are a family even though it's just the two of us (plus several 4 legged friends).
Jeff and I were married May 25, 2002, and about a year and a half later we decided to start trying to have a baby. Just for time references, let's just say it was around October 2003 (yes that's around the time Jeff turned 30). So we waited....and waited....and waited....and waited. At first I started to get a little obsessed, then decided I needed a distraction, so I went on a health kick. Started eating better, joined a gym, started running again, and it was during this time that I found my yoga.
Finally in January of 2005 I thought I felt a little weird for a few days. I won't go into the gory details, but when I finally took a pregnancy test it was positive. Jeff and I were so excited, and nervous, and scared all at once. Unfortunately one of the big things I remember about that time was the HUGE fight over "the yoga". As previously mentioned it is in a hot room, and Jeff was ADAMANTLY against me continuing the practice while I was pregnant. I was actually really surprised at how passionately he felt about it, a complete 180 from the way he felt about it before. I gave in, mainly because after trying to talk with; one - the OBGYN about it (I actually never talked to her, only her nurse. She refused to discuss the issue with me at all, just had her nurse call, and of course she wouldn't see me until I was 8 weeks), and two - the group of mid-wives we decided to go with when I fired the above mentioned doctor, everyone was in agreement that it was too hot.
In the end, at 7 weeks we had a miscarriage.
Six months later Jeff had graduated from nursing school and we had moved to the Woodlands (just outside of Houston).
Jeff and I were married May 25, 2002, and about a year and a half later we decided to start trying to have a baby. Just for time references, let's just say it was around October 2003 (yes that's around the time Jeff turned 30). So we waited....and waited....and waited....and waited. At first I started to get a little obsessed, then decided I needed a distraction, so I went on a health kick. Started eating better, joined a gym, started running again, and it was during this time that I found my yoga.
Finally in January of 2005 I thought I felt a little weird for a few days. I won't go into the gory details, but when I finally took a pregnancy test it was positive. Jeff and I were so excited, and nervous, and scared all at once. Unfortunately one of the big things I remember about that time was the HUGE fight over "the yoga". As previously mentioned it is in a hot room, and Jeff was ADAMANTLY against me continuing the practice while I was pregnant. I was actually really surprised at how passionately he felt about it, a complete 180 from the way he felt about it before. I gave in, mainly because after trying to talk with; one - the OBGYN about it (I actually never talked to her, only her nurse. She refused to discuss the issue with me at all, just had her nurse call, and of course she wouldn't see me until I was 8 weeks), and two - the group of mid-wives we decided to go with when I fired the above mentioned doctor, everyone was in agreement that it was too hot.
In the end, at 7 weeks we had a miscarriage.
Six months later Jeff had graduated from nursing school and we had moved to the Woodlands (just outside of Houston).
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Days 11 and 12
Feeling much stronger these days! Took the 9:30 am class on Labor Day. Taking a class on a holiday is always a treat, the classes are larger and everyone is a buzz to get going with their celebrations. I took the 6:30 class last night, which was awesome. Really helped me stay focused on what's really important, which was one of the reasons for doing this challenge during these two months.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Day 10 - Balls!
Or foam rollers...
Decided this morning to do a little Self mayo facial release exercises. Basically it is using your own body weight to roll on the round foam roll, massaging away restrictions to normal soft-tissue extensibility. You can also use a tennis or lacrosse ball to get in a more localized area. Basically I was trying to get rid of a bunch of knots in my muscles.
I'm really hoping that's what helped me in the 8:30 am class I took this morning, because I was much less stiff than I have been in awhile!!
Decided this morning to do a little Self mayo facial release exercises. Basically it is using your own body weight to roll on the round foam roll, massaging away restrictions to normal soft-tissue extensibility. You can also use a tennis or lacrosse ball to get in a more localized area. Basically I was trying to get rid of a bunch of knots in my muscles.
I'm really hoping that's what helped me in the 8:30 am class I took this morning, because I was much less stiff than I have been in awhile!!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Day 9 - 8 AM DONE Baby!
8 am class this morning with Ms. Liz! AwEsOmE!!!
Kinda sore and pretty stiff since it had only been something like 14 hours since my previous class. But I pressed on and got 'er done!!
Kinda sore and pretty stiff since it had only been something like 14 hours since my previous class. But I pressed on and got 'er done!!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Day 8 - For Sammy
This morning one of our dear family members passed away, our beloved dog Sam. We brought Sam home from the San Antonio humane society about six months after we were married. Jeff and I walked into the dog area, where a yellow lab was in a room all by himself barking nonstop and jumping up and down. Jeff took one look at him and said "that's the dog I want". I said to myself "oh crap!"
In his prime Samuel L Puppy, as we affectionately called him, was full of energy and life, but was also a cuddler. Many a time I walked in to the bedroom while Jeff was taking a nap to the picture of them spooning.
I dedicated my class today to my first dog. Rest in Peace Sammy, you're no longer in pain.
In his prime Samuel L Puppy, as we affectionately called him, was full of energy and life, but was also a cuddler. Many a time I walked in to the bedroom while Jeff was taking a nap to the picture of them spooning.
I dedicated my class today to my first dog. Rest in Peace Sammy, you're no longer in pain.
At the lake
Hanging with his buds
Being a good boy
Taking a nap
Taking another nap
Posing Pretty
Day 7 - Distractions Everywhere!
Took the 6:30 class last night with Tara!! She was awesome, as usual!
For some reason it was hard for me to block out all the distractions during class, but I did the best I could and so my goal was accomplished.
One distraction came from a student that was behind me and to the side, and since we are all facing a mirror I had a full view of them the entire class. I'll be honest, its pretty rare that I notice anyone else in class besides myself, but last night I had to really concentrate on not being annoyed. It was kind of evident that this student was new to the yoga, there were certain things throughout class that I saw them doing and I thought to myself "You're not doing that right, be careful". I had to remind myself to trust that the teacher would be keeping an eye on this student and help them if they were really going to get hurt. That part was probably the hardest, but eventually I was able to not notice as much. One of the reasons I go to yoga (and this might sounds selfish, but so be it) is so that I can focus on myself without worrying about anyone else.
Another distraction was probably a reaction from trying to get over the one described above. My mind kept wondering to topics outside the yoga room. Thinking about friends, family, what I needed at the grocery store, what I was going to do for dinner. It made the class seem to go faster, but again its a distraction. In order to squeeze out as much as I can from class, I try my best to focus on myself without worrying about anyone or anything else.
I do try my hardest not to worry about everything around me, it's really hard and usually I'm not very successful. Isn't it just so much easier sometimes to worry about those around us rather than what's going on with our self?
Until later today.
Stay hydrated my friends
For some reason it was hard for me to block out all the distractions during class, but I did the best I could and so my goal was accomplished.
One distraction came from a student that was behind me and to the side, and since we are all facing a mirror I had a full view of them the entire class. I'll be honest, its pretty rare that I notice anyone else in class besides myself, but last night I had to really concentrate on not being annoyed. It was kind of evident that this student was new to the yoga, there were certain things throughout class that I saw them doing and I thought to myself "You're not doing that right, be careful". I had to remind myself to trust that the teacher would be keeping an eye on this student and help them if they were really going to get hurt. That part was probably the hardest, but eventually I was able to not notice as much. One of the reasons I go to yoga (and this might sounds selfish, but so be it) is so that I can focus on myself without worrying about anyone else.
Another distraction was probably a reaction from trying to get over the one described above. My mind kept wondering to topics outside the yoga room. Thinking about friends, family, what I needed at the grocery store, what I was going to do for dinner. It made the class seem to go faster, but again its a distraction. In order to squeeze out as much as I can from class, I try my best to focus on myself without worrying about anyone or anything else.
I do try my hardest not to worry about everything around me, it's really hard and usually I'm not very successful. Isn't it just so much easier sometimes to worry about those around us rather than what's going on with our self?
Until later today.
Stay hydrated my friends
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Day 6 - Just Us Girls
Was able to take the 4:30 class this afternoon. It was one of those rare classes with only ladies, and there were about 7 or so of us total. Plus I got to take class next to my compadre Dorothy!
Of course since there were only a handful of students & our teacher Shane was the only guy in the room we had to give him a hard time. Lots of fun :)
Ended the class with Shane telling us we were the best class he's taught here! Girls Rule!
Until tomorrow.
Stay hydrated my friends.
Of course since there were only a handful of students & our teacher Shane was the only guy in the room we had to give him a hard time. Lots of fun :)
Ended the class with Shane telling us we were the best class he's taught here! Girls Rule!
Until tomorrow.
Stay hydrated my friends.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Day 5 - Letting Go
The theme for today seems to have been "just let it go". Meaning all those little things that cause an annoyance, today I seemed to be able to acknowledge the annoying-ness, but then let it go.
Made the day so much nicer, and yoga was so much less intense....aaahhhhh.......also helps to have a less intense teacher too, thanks Carlos!
And came out of yoga to some very cute texts from my mommy!
Made the day so much nicer, and yoga was so much less intense....aaahhhhh.......also helps to have a less intense teacher too, thanks Carlos!
And came out of yoga to some very cute texts from my mommy!
Until tomorrow
Stay hydrated my friends!
Sharing The Love
As Jeff and I have gone through our road toward adoption, people have asked us lots of questions. I think most people are just curious about the whole process if they, or someone close to them, has never gone through it.
Of course in our country there are all kinds of different ways to go about the adoption process; international, domestic, open and confidential to name a few. Jeff and I have chosen an open domestic adoption, with a big emphasis on the "open" part.
Since last November we have learned a lot, discussed a lot and thought a lot about what we feel would be the most comfortable with during our journey through adoption. One thing we thought would be the most natural, is for our child to know from the beginning his/her own story. To make adoption the "norm" of who they are and where they came from the get-go. This hopefully avoids the worry-some issue of "when is the right time to tell him/her", when is too young, when is too late. Our plan is to bring up the topic using children's books. So far we've bought 2 or 3 (I'll post the titles later).
Below are some articles provided by our adoption agency (see link to the right if you'd like to visit the agencies website) that I would like to share with all our friends. I hope this answers some questions and brings up some things that you might not have considered.
Enjoy!
Dear Abby
Involving Family & Friends
Speaking Positively
Of course in our country there are all kinds of different ways to go about the adoption process; international, domestic, open and confidential to name a few. Jeff and I have chosen an open domestic adoption, with a big emphasis on the "open" part.
Since last November we have learned a lot, discussed a lot and thought a lot about what we feel would be the most comfortable with during our journey through adoption. One thing we thought would be the most natural, is for our child to know from the beginning his/her own story. To make adoption the "norm" of who they are and where they came from the get-go. This hopefully avoids the worry-some issue of "when is the right time to tell him/her", when is too young, when is too late. Our plan is to bring up the topic using children's books. So far we've bought 2 or 3 (I'll post the titles later).
Below are some articles provided by our adoption agency (see link to the right if you'd like to visit the agencies website) that I would like to share with all our friends. I hope this answers some questions and brings up some things that you might not have considered.
Enjoy!
Dear Abby
Involving Family & Friends
Speaking Positively
Monday, August 27, 2012
Day 4 - eVeNiNg ClAsSeS rUlE!
Done! 6:30 class with Charlottte at Hollywood Park! Walked into the yoga studio to a raucous "CHALLENGER"!! Loved the awesome support!!
It was nice to have a longer break between classes (more than 24 hours) but as the day wore on the antsier I got to get to class and have another one checked off my list. Do love the afternoon classes compared to the morning ones, not so stiff by the evening.
Until tomorrow
Stay hydrated my friends
It was nice to have a longer break between classes (more than 24 hours) but as the day wore on the antsier I got to get to class and have another one checked off my list. Do love the afternoon classes compared to the morning ones, not so stiff by the evening.
Until tomorrow
Stay hydrated my friends
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Day 3 - Breath in....Breath out
I decided to go for another early morning class and took the 8:30 am at the Huebner studio. For the first half of the class the only way I got through it was by just concentrating on my breath and not on the fact that I was sore, stiff, hot and tired. Breath in....breath out...breath in....breath out....
I got through the first half and was in a much better place mentally. That's the part of class when I sometimes come up with my "BRILLIANT" ideas. I had 2 today, but now that class is over I'm not sure actually how brilliant these were. So I will not be sharing them yet, must mull them over more.
Mom's on her way over to help me finish sewing the curtains for the dinning room, then we're going to work on hanging things on the walls of the nursery, and hopefully will get to cleaning off the stroller and car seat donated to us.
Until tomorrow,
Stay Hydrated My Friends
I got through the first half and was in a much better place mentally. That's the part of class when I sometimes come up with my "BRILLIANT" ideas. I had 2 today, but now that class is over I'm not sure actually how brilliant these were. So I will not be sharing them yet, must mull them over more.
Mom's on her way over to help me finish sewing the curtains for the dinning room, then we're going to work on hanging things on the walls of the nursery, and hopefully will get to cleaning off the stroller and car seat donated to us.
Until tomorrow,
Stay Hydrated My Friends
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Day 2 - Already Sore...WTF
All day yesterday I had the intention of getting up and going to the 8 am class this morning. Then last night when I set my alarm, I realized it was the weekend and I should chill, sleep in and go to the 10 am class instead. But low and behold I actually woke up on my own early enough to take the 8, so yay me!!
I can't really remember the last time I took class 2 days in a row, and as I mentioned previously I've cut back on the number of classes I'd been taking weekly. Needless to say, it was 8 am and I was really stiff and already sore. So my mantra for today is
"I will not think about how I'm going to feel at day 30 if I'm already sore, I will not think about how I'm going to feel at day 30 if I'm already sore."
Also M and I discussed my previous post, she thought it was hilarious and made sure I knew that she didn't think I would freak out in the delivery room.
Until tomorrow.
Stay hydrated my friends!
I can't really remember the last time I took class 2 days in a row, and as I mentioned previously I've cut back on the number of classes I'd been taking weekly. Needless to say, it was 8 am and I was really stiff and already sore. So my mantra for today is
"I will not think about how I'm going to feel at day 30 if I'm already sore, I will not think about how I'm going to feel at day 30 if I'm already sore."
Also M and I discussed my previous post, she thought it was hilarious and made sure I knew that she didn't think I would freak out in the delivery room.
Until tomorrow.
Stay hydrated my friends!
Friday, August 24, 2012
My 60-Day Challenge - Day 1
The yoga studio I go to has something called the 60-Day Challenge. You take 60 classes in 60 days, which is hopefully 1 class a day for 2 months. When you are done you get to sign the studio wall, say a few words, get a t-shirt and get your picture taken for their Facebook page.
People do this challenge for a variety of reasons, I did one close to 8 years ago, and needless to say my signature on the wall has faded.
M is due sometime at the end of October or beginning of November, which is a little more than 2 months away. I had been thinking about doing the challenge during this time, but hadn't completely made up my mind yet.
M has asked both Jeff and I to be in the delivery room with her when R is born. Just as a side note because I think it's cute, she said she thought hard about if she would ask Jeff to be in the room as well, but decided him being a nurse took the weirdness out of it. Any-who, back to the topic at hand. It came up while we were talking about the delivery room that, of course, Jeff has seen an actual delivery but I have not. M asked me to watch the TV show A Baby Story so I would have a better idea of what it was all about. She seems to be a little worried that it will be to intense for me and I'll freak out. I know I'm not going to freak out, and I plan on saying that to her (even after I watched several episodes of the show). But I'm not sure that will convince her.
So to bring this all full circle, some might not see the connection between doing this challenge and my comments just above, but for me there is. Actions speak louder than words, and this is my action to show her just how committed I am to this adoption and no matter what happens in that delivery room I am going to be fine. Not sure if anyone will get this connection, but I hope she does. I'm dedicating this challenge to our possible adoption triad.
So on that note, today was day 1 of the challenge. I took the noon class with the yoga instructor Carlos. It was a great class, though I must confess I got a little winded during the standing series. Probably because for various reasons I have cut down on the number of yoga classes I have been taking a week so my stamina has diminished....at least that's what I'm telling myself.
So stay tuned to my daily yoga reports! Stay hydrated my friends (note: this is not a jab at anyone, you know who you are, this is because it's HOT yoga and I'm sweating my ass off and the classes are so much nicer when I actually have fluids to sweat out and keep me cool)
People do this challenge for a variety of reasons, I did one close to 8 years ago, and needless to say my signature on the wall has faded.
M is due sometime at the end of October or beginning of November, which is a little more than 2 months away. I had been thinking about doing the challenge during this time, but hadn't completely made up my mind yet.
M has asked both Jeff and I to be in the delivery room with her when R is born. Just as a side note because I think it's cute, she said she thought hard about if she would ask Jeff to be in the room as well, but decided him being a nurse took the weirdness out of it. Any-who, back to the topic at hand. It came up while we were talking about the delivery room that, of course, Jeff has seen an actual delivery but I have not. M asked me to watch the TV show A Baby Story so I would have a better idea of what it was all about. She seems to be a little worried that it will be to intense for me and I'll freak out. I know I'm not going to freak out, and I plan on saying that to her (even after I watched several episodes of the show). But I'm not sure that will convince her.
So to bring this all full circle, some might not see the connection between doing this challenge and my comments just above, but for me there is. Actions speak louder than words, and this is my action to show her just how committed I am to this adoption and no matter what happens in that delivery room I am going to be fine. Not sure if anyone will get this connection, but I hope she does. I'm dedicating this challenge to our possible adoption triad.
So on that note, today was day 1 of the challenge. I took the noon class with the yoga instructor Carlos. It was a great class, though I must confess I got a little winded during the standing series. Probably because for various reasons I have cut down on the number of yoga classes I have been taking a week so my stamina has diminished....at least that's what I'm telling myself.
So stay tuned to my daily yoga reports! Stay hydrated my friends (note: this is not a jab at anyone, you know who you are, this is because it's HOT yoga and I'm sweating my ass off and the classes are so much nicer when I actually have fluids to sweat out and keep me cool)
Thursday, August 16, 2012
About Time Ya Slacker!
Seriously May, that's the last time I posted something? I can be such a procrastinator sometimes. So here's an update:
WE'RE MATCHED!!!!
But I have a feeling the few people that read this blog probably already know that. Had my first phone call with M around the beginning of July and for me it seemed like a good "fit" from the get-go. Then when Jeff was able to talk with her and in the middle of their conversation he mouthed "she's perfect" I got chills.
I heard and read about other potential AP couples experiences, about being comfortable and feeling a special connection. And I held out and truly hoped it would happen that way for us, but I don't think I really thought that it would feel that way...until it did.
I'm not saying it's perfect, I've had moments of doubt. Not doubt about our thoughts and feelings about M, but doubt that she would stay confident in her decision about choosing us. But so far when that's happened I've heard from M and she seems to say the exact right thing to make me feel better. Which seems weird to me, shouldn't I be the one supporting her not the other way around?
For now I am getting the feeling it's time to start communicating the important things a little better. So far I've purposefully not been to pushy, I don't want to over step or say the wrong thing. But I can see how that might be taken as us not being excited or open or trusting of M. So we might as well lay it all out on the table so everyone knows where everyone else is coming from. then we will know where those boundaries are and trust that if we over step them M will let me know.
DUE DATE: Sometime around the end of October or beginning of November
IT'S A BOY!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
It's Been Awhile
It has been quite a while since I posted something. We're still waiting, and have been busy decorating the nursery.
Found a very cute Winnie the Pooh quote so I made it into something cute. I plan on matteing it and finding a nice frame. It will go very nicely!
Also made curtains to go with the valences we found. There's a close up & a picture I took while working on them.
Found a very cute Winnie the Pooh quote so I made it into something cute. I plan on matteing it and finding a nice frame. It will go very nicely!
Also made curtains to go with the valences we found. There's a close up & a picture I took while working on them.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Cute Onsie Pics
Jeff & I were thrown a couples shower by a couple of my favorite aunts this past Saturday. No silly shower games, but they did have onsies to paint! Here are some pics
Saturday, February 18, 2012
My Take On Things - Or, Me Venting
Looking online this week I found the following blog, which lists other blogs that are about adoption/loss/infertility.
On one of these blogs I found the following and it got me thinking. Here's the link to the blog itself. In the turquoise color is the original post I found. My response is in black.
The Great Divide
You’re pregnant…I’m paper pregnant (aka: have a completed home study) OK I can see this, though for us it felt more like when we finished our orientation weekend.
You’re reading pregnancy books and parenting books…I’m reading adoption blogs and birth mother profiles. I'm also reading adoption blogs, books on adoption & parenting books...why would you not also be reading the parenting books? The whole point is that you are going to be a parent you just had to go about it a different way.
You’re decorating a nursery…I’m decorating an adoption scrapbook for birth mothers to review. We also made an adoption profile, but we also are decorating a nursery. Not sure why you wouldn't do this, and if not a nursery at least getting a kids room ready! They seem to be taking all the fun and exciting stuff out just because they are adopting, and I'm not really sure why.
You’re scared of stretch marks and how you are going to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight…I’m scared of the potential health consequences of not ever being pregnant (increased cancer risk, etc.) this one I did agree with, but again why are they being such a Debbie Downer? No one knows if they will eventually get cancer, or Alzheimer's or any health issue. Why waste time worrying about it?
You’re worried if breastfeeding will hurt…I’m worried how baby and wallet friendly bottle feeding will be This one is a BIG stretch. It's like they were trying to find all this negative stuff to say "look at me adopting, feel sorry for me because I have to do this."
You’re researching baby products to find out their safety ratings…I’m researching the effects of drugs and alcohol in case I’m presented with a case where one or both were used during the pregnancy I'm doing the researching of baby products myself, why aren't they doing this as well? Yes the other is also a concern, but not a HUGE one until you are presented with a case where the birthmother has admitted to use. You really don't know if you are being told the whole truth. But that's part of this process that you know before you begin so either accept it & or move on to something else.
You’re wondering who the baby will look more like…I’m wondering how the world around me will react if my baby is of another race than me I guess I am both of these, but focusing more on what the baby will look like because that's way more fun!
You’re stressed about your portion of the hospital bill for the birth…I’m stressed about the mountains and mountains of legal fees I’m going to have to pay Yes adopting is expensive, but I wouldn't call the legal fees "mountains and mountains" but that might be a state thing. I wonder what kind of car they drive & how much they paid for it.
You’re counting down the days until your due date…I’m counting the days that have passed since I completed my home study with no adoption placement in sight But you know I will happen eventually so chill! Patience is a virtue.
You’re enjoying baby showers and the attention that comes with being pregnant…I’m *trying* to enjoy the quietness that stills exists in my life for now (and will continue for an undisclosed period of time) Where is it written that you can't have a shower when you are adopting? And since we don't have other kids I really am enjoying the freedom I know will be gone in the not to distant future. I'm thinking that will just make me more accepting when we do have a little one to be responsible for. Which by the way, is the same for any couple pregnant with their first baby.
You’re not sleeping thanks to the baby’s moments…I’m not sleeping thanks to not having a baby and wondering when it will happen Ugh! You don't think pregnant women lay awake at night worrying about things?
You’re nesting…I’m dying to nest Where is it written that you can't nest? With 6 miscarriages, for me it was when I was pregnant that I felt like I couldn't or shouldn't do any "nesting". Now I truly feel free to do as much as I want because "it's not if but when"
You’re deciding if you should start a college fund now…I’m deciding what items I’ll pay a birth mother for during her pregnancy (clothes, transportation, medical, rent, etc.) Do you not expect your adopted child to not go to college? If they are so worried about the money then they should maybe re-think the idea of adoption.
You’re excited and nervous for what the future will hold for your baby…I’m excited and nervous for what the future will hold for my baby Finally! They have something positive to say about this adoption.
You’re becoming a mom through biology…I’m becoming a mom through love ...I'm pretty sure some biological mothers become moms through love
I feel better now. I guess this just really bugged me because she seemed kind of whiny and negative. Really NEGATIVE! After I wrote the above I wondered if it was okay to post so I read it to Jeff. He agreed with me and said something to the effect of "parenthood is not a right it's a privilege", and if they were so focused on how crappy their lot-in-life was that they had to adopt then maybe they should rethink adopting in the first place. This might be way of coping with her infertility issues, and by now she's worked through all of this negativity and is excited about becoming a parent!
Baby Book - So Excited I Had To Share
Found a great baby book on Amazon specifically for adoptions! I got it in the mail this week & it's even better than I hoped. Check it out
My Family, My Journey
My Family, My Journey
One of the reviews gives a list of what is included. And since I am inherently lazy (or resourceful depending on how you look at it) I've pasted it below, with a reference to the Reviewer
From a review by Sharon "arizona" (Fairfax, VA) -
--Before You Were Born (The story of us and how we came to be a family); includes space for family photos before and after placement
--The Story of Your Adoption; includes sections for "Why we chose to adopt" (only two lines for text!), "how we found you", and "our hopes and dreams for you"
--People Who Helped Us Find You; includes space for four pictures, names, and "how they helped us find you".
--Waiting; includes sections for "plans and preparations we made"
--The Match!; includes sections for "how we found out" and "how we celebrated"
--A Baby Shower!, includes sections for shower invitation, "favorite shower memories", "special guests", and "special gifts"
--Our Journey to You; includes sections on "where you were", "how we got to you", and "joyful memories"
--Our Very First Meeting; includes space for photograph and sections on "our first impression of you" and "your first impression of us"
--All About Your Name; includes sections on "why we chose your name" and "what it means and where it came from"
--All About Your Birthday; includes sections on "your astrological sign" and "what we know about your birthdate"
--Our Family; includes space for four family individuals: names, relationship, favorite foods, color and animal, and some space for text (no photo space, although you could improvise pretty easily)
--Coming Home; includes sections on "your trip home" and "you wore"
--Your New Home; includes space for a photo of baby's room and sections on "what you thought of your new home" and "what we did on your first day home"
--Introductions and Celebrations; includes sections on "some of the first people you met", "favorite stories" and "favorite presents"
--Your Announcement; includes space for announcement
--Your Adoption Buddies; includes space for four individuals, including photograph, child's name, parents' names, and favorite memories
--Page for four photos of your choice
--Twelve pages marked for months one, two, etc, meant to be the "first year with us" (so not necessarily 1 month of age, 2 months of age, etc). Each page has space for a photograph, and sections for height, weight, and memorable moments & milestones
--First and Favorites; includes sections on first word, favorite toys, first night slept all the way through, favorite foods, first step, favorite songs, other firsts & favorites
--Your Adoption Day; includes sections on judge's name, special people who were there, "how we celebrated", and one full page for a photograph
--Your First Birthday With Us; includes sections on "on your birthday you wore", "all about your birthday cake", "the special people who attended", "gifts you received", and one full page for a photograph
--"Things that Make You Smile", "Things That Make You Cry"
--One full page for "What We Know About Your Birth Family and Where You Came From"
--Two family trees, each on a page opposite each other. One is marked with aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. The other is blank. There are stickers in a back pocket of the book so that you can fill in other branches/relationships as necessary, and it's up to you if you want the trees to be biological or adoptive families, or one of each.
--The Story of Your Adoption; includes sections for "Why we chose to adopt" (only two lines for text!), "how we found you", and "our hopes and dreams for you"
--People Who Helped Us Find You; includes space for four pictures, names, and "how they helped us find you".
--Waiting; includes sections for "plans and preparations we made"
--The Match!; includes sections for "how we found out" and "how we celebrated"
--A Baby Shower!, includes sections for shower invitation, "favorite shower memories", "special guests", and "special gifts"
--Our Journey to You; includes sections on "where you were", "how we got to you", and "joyful memories"
--Our Very First Meeting; includes space for photograph and sections on "our first impression of you" and "your first impression of us"
--All About Your Name; includes sections on "why we chose your name" and "what it means and where it came from"
--All About Your Birthday; includes sections on "your astrological sign" and "what we know about your birthdate"
--Our Family; includes space for four family individuals: names, relationship, favorite foods, color and animal, and some space for text (no photo space, although you could improvise pretty easily)
--Coming Home; includes sections on "your trip home" and "you wore"
--Your New Home; includes space for a photo of baby's room and sections on "what you thought of your new home" and "what we did on your first day home"
--Introductions and Celebrations; includes sections on "some of the first people you met", "favorite stories" and "favorite presents"
--Your Announcement; includes space for announcement
--Your Adoption Buddies; includes space for four individuals, including photograph, child's name, parents' names, and favorite memories
--Page for four photos of your choice
--Twelve pages marked for months one, two, etc, meant to be the "first year with us" (so not necessarily 1 month of age, 2 months of age, etc). Each page has space for a photograph, and sections for height, weight, and memorable moments & milestones
--First and Favorites; includes sections on first word, favorite toys, first night slept all the way through, favorite foods, first step, favorite songs, other firsts & favorites
--Your Adoption Day; includes sections on judge's name, special people who were there, "how we celebrated", and one full page for a photograph
--Your First Birthday With Us; includes sections on "on your birthday you wore", "all about your birthday cake", "the special people who attended", "gifts you received", and one full page for a photograph
--"Things that Make You Smile", "Things That Make You Cry"
--One full page for "What We Know About Your Birth Family and Where You Came From"
--Two family trees, each on a page opposite each other. One is marked with aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. The other is blank. There are stickers in a back pocket of the book so that you can fill in other branches/relationships as necessary, and it's up to you if you want the trees to be biological or adoptive families, or one of each.
I also got 2 kids books that focus on adoption, and another about how there are all types of families. Haven't looked closely at these yet, but that's on the agenda for this weekend!
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