Days 29 Through 34

Most of these classes have been pretty smooth sailing. There is the occasional hiccup in class like the same teacher 2 days in a row,

(when class is ssooo structured with the same poses etc, the teacher is the only non-constant...so having the same one twice isn't something I prefer....of course there are much worse things in the world.....famine, disease....but I digress)

having demonstrations in class,

(come on already lets get going with the rest of the postures...it might sounds weird to some but I don't want to get too cooled off....and that's not a hot yoga joke ;) )

things of that nature. These sort of things bothers me in class, but not enough where I remember after the class is over.

Last night's class sticks out from the classes of late. First, I put off class until the absolute last minute. The last class of the day starts at 8:15. All evening, after I got home from work, I had an on-going mental conversation with myself about what class to go to, or even if I should take the day off. That is actually possible, but then you have to do 2 classes in one day to catch up, YUCK!  It was touch and go all evening until about 7:55 when I get a text from my mom telling me she worked out earlier and felt so great!

WELL CRAP!!! I had pretty much convinced myself to NOT go to class. Then I made the mistake of texting her back telling her I needed inspiration to get myself to yoga...and of course she was happy to oblige. At this point I felt that I should go to class....getting there with about 5 minutes to spare.

I walk in the door practically stomping like a sullen child and mumble something about how its a miracle that I'm there.....like they are supposed to kiss my boots because I dained to show up to class.

One of my saving graces was when I saw Kristen was teaching the class...yeah!!

Of course at the end of class I was extremely proud of myself for getting there. But that was after having to use HERCULEAN SIZE focus and determination not to slap the lady next to me who COULD NOT stay still! It didn't matter if we were in a posture or between postures, she was twisting and turning and wiping and touching her face and stretching and swaying her hips, etc, etc. And in the grumpy mood I was in because I HAD to come to class it was SSSOOO hard to relax! I finally did and let go as much as I could. I totally understand and (most of the time) have empathy for newer people who aren't used to the heat or the structure of the class, but last night the amount of empathy I had could have fit on the head of a pin.

By the floor series I could tune her out for the most part. And as I mentioned, at the end of class I was glad I went (mainly because that meant I didn't have to do a double at a later date ;) )

Days 26, 27, and 28 - FOUR WEEKS BABY!

Finishing class last night made it an official 4 weeks of yoga everyday! AWESOME!!!

Feeling good and staying hydrated. Feeling accomplished, relatively sane, and positive about our future. Not much more we could ask for :)

Part 4 - Time For Extreme Measures

After we moved to Canyon Lake I found a fertility doctor in San Antonio. I'm not sure if it was because we had 3 miscarriages (that's apparently the magic number to officially start to worry) or what, but this doctor's office seemed much more interested in doing tests to actually try and determine what was going on.
With out going in to all the dirty details, Jeff and I went through several tests to try and determine what (if any) issues we had. There were little things here and there for both Jeff and I, but the major diagnosis that came out of all that was determining that I have a unicornuate uterus. Which basically means only half of my uterus fully developed, the other half never developed & the 2 parts are separate. I have both ovaries & Fallopian tubes, but one side isn't attached to all the other important stuff. So even though I ovulate normally, only the side developed would ever have a chance of being fertilized, plus my uterus is half the size of a normal uterus.
This was all good to know. It explained the reason it took a little longer for us to get pregnant, but it didn't explain the reason for the miscarriages.
Time passed, we tried IUI once without success. I started my PhD program at Texas State, and in the late spring of 2009 we decided to try a cycle of IVF.
It took a few months of prepping, apparently you can't just decide to do IVF one day & have it done the next day. Part of my prep was removing a polip in my uterus. Finally in August we did the procedure & 2 weeks later found out that it was successful, we were pregnant for the fourth time.
Part of the IVF process includes lots of lovely hormone shots and patches and driving all the way to the doctors office at least once a week. You don't actually keep seeing the fertility doctor through your entire pregnancy. By the beginning of the second trimester they wing you off the hormones & you only go to your OBGYN.
Since we had moved back and we were mainly using the fertility doctor I hadn't found an OBGYN to take over for the fertility doctors. As we were transitioning to a new doctor and they were weening me off the hormones and I was about to start my second trimester we miscarried again.
I had actually decided to take a break from school the week before this happened. School, plus teaching, plus driving in to San Antonio was taking its toll. If I had know what would happen the following week I'm not sure what I would have done.
I began November 2009 not pregnant, I had quit school and there was no longer teaching at the University (the teaching position was only for PhD students). From this point until the end of the following May 2010 was a pretty dark time in my life.

Days 19 Through 25

Been a blogger slacker, but not a yoga slacker!

Class on 9-11 dedicated to remembering that tragic day through class on my bday on the 15th and beyond.

Part 3 - The Alternative Route

Time went on again, and again we waited and waited. Of course we distracted ourselves with other things, but (at least for me) it was always in the back on my mind....will this EVER happen for us.

At some point during the Spring of 2007 I injured my back and found a chiropractor that would hopefully help. Not only was he a chiropractor but also did some alternative health practicing. During the initial visits I filled out paperwork about all aspects of my health, which of course included my fertility issues. He had me take a test that would measure different hormone levels, but did this using saliva instead of blood. There were reasons behind this, but for the life of me I can't remember what they were.

The test came back and showed some imbalances, and so he gave me supplements to help bring these back into balance. Some of these supplements were bio identical hormones. I can't remember exactly how long I was taking these, but in May 2007 we found out we were pregnant again.

Jeff and I had planned a vacation with my mom, her husband Les and some friends of theirs to the Cayman Islands. This was right after there was a change in passport policy that lead to a back log for issuing new passports. We had applied for them back in April, but had yet to receive them. The week leading up to us leaving was when we found out we were pregnant. So as we waited and made calls and worried about our passport situation, I went to lots of doctor and ultrasound appointments. The day before we were to leave, after yet another ultrasound, and still no passports and no way to change our already purchased plane fare, we miscarried again. We never made it to the Cayman Islands (but of course our passports showed up a few days later), though we did end up going to Port Aransas on the Texas coast just because we both needed a little break and some time to unwind. Thinking back, that was one of the most depressing vacations ever.

That summer I made the decision to go back to school full time to work on my PhD in Math Education. The program was in San Marcos at Texas State. I had been going back and forth for years debating about whether to do this or not, and I finally decided to take the plunge. Jeff was VERY understanding! We sold the house in the Woodlands and moved to Canyon Lake in August of 2007. But I didn't actually start the PhD program for another year, in the Fall of 2008.

Day 18 - Buuurrrrrrrr

The weather in SA is achangin', Fall (or at least San Antonio's version of it) seems to be here...at least for now. The lows have been in the balmy 60's, while the highs have been in the cooler lower 90's. Whenever the weather changes the hot room does also, and sometimes it takes a bit to adjust.

With all that being said, it was a little chilly in the room during class last night....meaning my guess it was in the 90's.

Days 15, 16 & 17 - Time Marches On

Done, done and done!

While in class I always have ideas about what to blog about, but by the time I get ready to write....its all gone....

I know I have clever things to discuss, but for the life of me the only thing I can remember is the spot under my chin that's peeling from the spine strengthening poses. These are postures done laying on the stomach with your chin out, and your neck is supposed to be flat on the floor...mine is not...hence the tender spot on my chin.

Our Story - Continued

I keep changing my mind about writing such a intimate and sensitive topic on an Internet site that anyone with a computer can access. On one hand, I'm a pretty private person and don't really like people knowing my business. Mainly because I REALLY hate it when people feel sorry for me and I see pity in their eyes. On the other hand, I think it will be cathartic for me to write about all this stuff, it will remind me of what I've been through and how I got to where I am today. Plus, who knows, it might help someone going through a similar situation, to help them feel not quit so alone.

So here we go....

We moved to the Woodlands in August of 2005, who really knows why. My sneaking suspicion is to distract ourselves from what was going on by trying something new. But maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Life went on, I continued working for the same company from home. We continued to keep trying, and again we waited. The following summer (I think, some of the dates at this point are a little foggy) I decided it was time to see a fertility doctor. I learned a big lesson from seeing this doctor, which was - go with your instincts. If you are not comfortable with him/her from the beginning how in the world are you going to be able to ask questions and get the things done you want done if you don't feel like you can talk with them.

As with most fertility doctors, the first visit is a consultation. Jeff and I both went and sat in his office to discuss the reason we decided to seek help. Now what I am about to say might be taken the wrong way. I love my husband with my entire heart, soul and being, but we are very different people. I'm an introvert, he's an extrovert. When we are in situations in which I am not comfortable, he senses this and wants to make we feel better. This usually means he talks more. And this is what happened during this consultation. It was him and the doctor talking, this I did not like. But whose fault was that? Mine just as much as theirs since I didn't step in and open my word hole. The one comment that should have set off alarms for me was when Jeff was explaining how I really didn't want to take hormones, to which he responded "Oh, she'll change her mind about that" (insert wink, wink, nudge, nudge...as if I wasn't even in the f@*#ing room...but I digress). There was also no discussion of a possibility of there being something wrong with Jeff, not that I wanted that. But at this point we had no idea what was wrong, so it could have been him just as much as me....but that wasn't mentioned.

I'm fairly sure my reason for seeing this doctor was not made clear to him, and honestly I'm not really sure I knew myself what I wanted. Hind site is 20/20 right, and now I can look back and see I just wanted a reason why it was taking so long. And I got the impression that the doctor just wanted to give me drugs to try and solve the problem, not look into the reason behind the problem.

He had mentioned a test called hysterosalpingogram, you can click the name for the wiki link if you want to know the gory details. I had to call the doctors office on several occasions to finally get them to set this test up for me. It was not performed in the doctors office, but in a hospital (I think radiology lab). Jeff went with me, but in the end we were told he could not come in to the room where the test was being done. And I'm going to bet the radiologist regretted that decision.

I'm laying there feeling very exposed, when the radiologist made some comment like "so you only have one fallopian tube correct?". This totally took me by surprise and I immediately started crying. At the time I felt very silly, but again looking back I can see it was a normal response to the situation. I had a follow up appointment with the doctor several days later. And as he walked into the room looking at my chart he said "so I see everything was normal." WTF?!?!? I said, no they mentioned something about me only having I fallopian tube, at which point he took a closer look at my chart and said something like, ah yes I see that. That was the last time I went to that doctor.

The following month we found out we were pregnant again. Apparently that happens often after that test is performed because it sort of "cleans everything out". Again we were excited and even more scared.

And again we miscarried at about 7 weeks.

Days 13 & 14

Time just keeps marching on. Every class I am feeling stronger and more focused. I can't believe its already been 2 weeks!

Our Story - Part One

I'm not sure if this is going to be a good idea or not, but I've decided to share the story of the journey Jeff and I have taken to get us to this point on the road to expanding our family by one. I hate to say, starting a family, because I feel like Jeff and I are a family even though it's just the two of us (plus several 4 legged friends).

Jeff and I were married May 25, 2002, and about a year and a half later we decided to start trying to have a baby. Just for time references, let's just say it was around October 2003 (yes that's around the time Jeff turned 30). So we waited....and waited....and waited....and waited. At first I started to get a little obsessed, then decided I needed a distraction, so I went on a health kick. Started eating better, joined a gym, started running again, and it was during this time that I found my yoga.

Finally in January of 2005 I thought I felt a little weird for a few days. I won't go into the gory details, but when I finally took a pregnancy test it was positive. Jeff and I were so excited, and nervous, and scared all at once. Unfortunately one of the big things I remember about that time was the HUGE fight over "the yoga". As previously mentioned it is in a hot room, and Jeff was ADAMANTLY against me continuing the practice while I was pregnant. I was actually really surprised at how passionately he felt about it, a complete 180 from the way he felt about it before. I gave in, mainly because after trying to talk with; one - the OBGYN about it (I actually never talked to her, only her nurse. She refused to discuss the issue with me at all, just had her nurse call, and of course she wouldn't see me until I was 8 weeks), and two - the group of mid-wives we decided to go with when I fired the above mentioned doctor, everyone was in agreement that it was too hot.

In the end, at 7 weeks we had a miscarriage.

Six months later Jeff had graduated from nursing school and we had moved to the Woodlands (just outside of Houston).

Days 11 and 12

Feeling much stronger these days! Took the 9:30 am class on Labor Day. Taking a class on a holiday is always a treat, the classes are larger and everyone is a buzz to get going with their celebrations. I took the 6:30 class last night, which was awesome. Really helped me stay focused on what's really important, which was one of the reasons for doing this challenge during these two months.

Day 10 - Balls!

Or foam rollers...

Decided this morning to do a little Self mayo facial release exercises. Basically it is using your own body weight to roll on the round foam roll, massaging away restrictions to normal soft-tissue extensibility. You can also use a tennis or lacrosse ball to get in a more localized area. Basically I was trying to get rid of a bunch of knots in my muscles. 

I'm really hoping that's what helped me in the 8:30 am class I took this morning, because I was much less stiff than I have been in awhile!!

Day 9 - 8 AM DONE Baby!

8 am class this morning with Ms. Liz! AwEsOmE!!!

Kinda sore and pretty stiff since it had only been something like 14 hours since my previous class. But I pressed on and got 'er done!!