The Great Divide
You’re pregnant…I’m paper pregnant (aka: have a completed home study) OK I can see this, though for us it felt more like when we finished our orientation weekend.
You’re reading pregnancy books and parenting books…I’m reading adoption blogs and birth mother profiles. I'm also reading adoption blogs, books on adoption & parenting books...why would you not also be reading the parenting books? The whole point is that you are going to be a parent you just had to go about it a different way.
You’re decorating a nursery…I’m decorating an adoption scrapbook for birth mothers to review. We also made an adoption profile, but we also are decorating a nursery. Not sure why you wouldn't do this, and if not a nursery at least getting a kids room ready! They seem to be taking all the fun and exciting stuff out just because they are adopting, and I'm not really sure why.
You’re scared of stretch marks and how you are going to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight…I’m scared of the potential health consequences of not ever being pregnant (increased cancer risk, etc.) this one I did agree with, but again why are they being such a Debbie Downer? No one knows if they will eventually get cancer, or Alzheimer's or any health issue. Why waste time worrying about it?
You’re worried if breastfeeding will hurt…I’m worried how baby and wallet friendly bottle feeding will be This one is a BIG stretch. It's like they were trying to find all this negative stuff to say "look at me adopting, feel sorry for me because I have to do this."
You’re researching baby products to find out their safety ratings…I’m researching the effects of drugs and alcohol in case I’m presented with a case where one or both were used during the pregnancy I'm doing the researching of baby products myself, why aren't they doing this as well? Yes the other is also a concern, but not a HUGE one until you are presented with a case where the birthmother has admitted to use. You really don't know if you are being told the whole truth. But that's part of this process that you know before you begin so either accept it & or move on to something else.
You’re wondering who the baby will look more like…I’m wondering how the world around me will react if my baby is of another race than me I guess I am both of these, but focusing more on what the baby will look like because that's way more fun!
You’re stressed about your portion of the hospital bill for the birth…I’m stressed about the mountains and mountains of legal fees I’m going to have to pay Yes adopting is expensive, but I wouldn't call the legal fees "mountains and mountains" but that might be a state thing. I wonder what kind of car they drive & how much they paid for it.
You’re counting down the days until your due date…I’m counting the days that have passed since I completed my home study with no adoption placement in sight But you know I will happen eventually so chill! Patience is a virtue.
You’re enjoying baby showers and the attention that comes with being pregnant…I’m *trying* to enjoy the quietness that stills exists in my life for now (and will continue for an undisclosed period of time) Where is it written that you can't have a shower when you are adopting? And since we don't have other kids I really am enjoying the freedom I know will be gone in the not to distant future. I'm thinking that will just make me more accepting when we do have a little one to be responsible for. Which by the way, is the same for any couple pregnant with their first baby.
You’re not sleeping thanks to the baby’s moments…I’m not sleeping thanks to not having a baby and wondering when it will happen Ugh! You don't think pregnant women lay awake at night worrying about things?
You’re nesting…I’m dying to nest Where is it written that you can't nest? With 6 miscarriages, for me it was when I was pregnant that I felt like I couldn't or shouldn't do any "nesting". Now I truly feel free to do as much as I want because "it's not if but when"
You’re deciding if you should start a college fund now…I’m deciding what items I’ll pay a birth mother for during her pregnancy (clothes, transportation, medical, rent, etc.) Do you not expect your adopted child to not go to college? If they are so worried about the money then they should maybe re-think the idea of adoption.
You’re excited and nervous for what the future will hold for your baby…I’m excited and nervous for what the future will hold for my baby Finally! They have something positive to say about this adoption.
You’re becoming a mom through biology…I’m becoming a mom through love ...I'm pretty sure some biological mothers become moms through love
I feel better now. I guess this just really bugged me because she seemed kind of whiny and negative. Really NEGATIVE! After I wrote the above I wondered if it was okay to post so I read it to Jeff. He agreed with me and said something to the effect of "parenthood is not a right it's a privilege", and if they were so focused on how crappy their lot-in-life was that they had to adopt then maybe they should rethink adopting in the first place. This might be way of coping with her infertility issues, and by now she's worked through all of this negativity and is excited about becoming a parent!
No comments:
Post a Comment